How do you measure a year in the life...?

525,600 minutes. How do you measure, measure a year?

As I've mentioned before, it's been a tough year on my family. We've all had to make adjustments, and adjustments to army life are not for the weak. They have to be taken very positively or it could end in disaster for your relationship. I usually think all change is positive. Anything that takes you outside of your comfort zone makes you a stronger person, right?

The day to day life of a military spouse isn't much different than any other spouse. You get up, take care of kids or housework, go to work, fix dinner, spend time with your husband (or wife) watching tv, etc. Your spouse gets up, goes to work, comes home. Sometimes Nate works late, sometimes he gets off early. The early days are a special surprise. The late days are just like for any other job. He's usually home by 6 or 7 those days, but occasionally, it's later (I'm used to working retail...you never get out on time).

Sometimes they go to the field. Think of it as a business trip without a rental car or mints on your pillow. I'll admit that the first time Nate went to the field, I thought I was going to die. It's hard to be away from someone you love, regardless of the length of time, but I have to tell myself that this is the training that will keep him safe while he's away.

The first time Nate went to the field was my first encounter with what I call a one-upper. It was made painfully clear to me that unless I had suffered through childbirth alone during deployment, I had no right to complain. Sorry, but I can miss my husband whenever I'd like. I don't need anyone else to tell me what I'm allowed to feel, and when I voiced my opinion, I was promptly de-friended. Whatever. I don't need negativity in my life. No one has the right to dictate my emotions...and here, where we're all in the same boat, so to speak? Where's the love???

So I guess the main thing that separates military spouses from other spouses is deployment. I cant think of another job that takes your spouse away for up to a year, sends them to a war-zone, and puts their life at risk daily. Length of deployment varies by branch of service and job, but deployment is still deployment. In his current job, Nate's deployments last a year (that's if there are no delays or extensions). And yes, I'm terrified.

I have full confidence in my husband's training, his ability, and his stubbornness. I have no doubt that he will exert every effort to bring his soldiers and himself home. While this is comforting, I still spend time daily swallowing the lump in my throat and trying to push back that fear that always seems to settle in the pit of my stomach.

Do I willingly let him go? Yes. It's his job and I respect that. Will I make myself sick worrying? Most likely. I will be here to love and support him. I'll tell him funny stories about home when I know he's had a bad day. I will be positive.  I'll keep the home fires burning while he's gone, and never forget that he's fighting for my freedom; so that I can live in a country where we have the opportunity to be whatever we want to be. It may, however, take physical force to detach me from him so he can get on the plane. My strength only goes so far.

The Army will take care of me. I'll have my close friends and family for support. Most days I'll be strong, some days I'll break down. There have been military wives for thousands of years....wives who had no communication with their husbands. I am lucky. I have phone and Internet. I can see him and hear his voice. I can dream about him at night. I am lucky. And proud. And blessed with each moment we have together. He is my hero.

525,600 minutes. Measured in love.