Day 22

OB appointment today. Not many more of those before Gray will be here! Gah! I have so much to dooooo! 

I had that glucose test today. I hope there are no problems with it, because the idea of having to drink that stuff again turns my stomach. His heartbeat was in the 160s still, and he's head down and ready to roll. It won't be long now. I'm so thankful that this pregnancy has been easier than the last. It's hard for you to be away, but it could be worse. 

27 weeks! Let's do this. But not until you get home. 

We love you and miss you soooo much! Stay safe and we will stay busy. :)

Night, my love. Muah. 

Day 21. Three weeks gone.

We didn't do a lot today. Lazy Sunday. We watched TV, cleaned, napped, ran to the store. That was our day. 

I was so happy that Cale immediately told you he misses you and loves you when you called. I love when he does things like that unprompted. He tells me all the time that he misses you. I'm just glad he finally told you!

He passed out in his recliner today after we cleaned up his play area. Even monsters need naps. ;)

I don't have much more to report. Glucose test tomorrow, OB appointment. I'll keep you posted. Love you! Goodnight. 

Day 20

We walked about 3 miles today (well, I walked; Cale rode). It was nice and cool out, so I only sweated for half the time we were out. 

I'm exhausted, but it was a good day. We are laying in bed right now, hoping Hurricane Erika leaves you alone. Cale sang his songs and told you goodnight to the moon, which I really need to get on video because it's so cute. He reminded me again to mark off the calendar tonight before we came to bed. Even if he doesn't know what it means, he knows we do it every night, because we survived. Then we give high fives. :)

He refused to nap for the longest time today, so I rocked him. Took him about 2 minutes, and he was out like a light. I'll miss this. I hope he doesn't turn into a big boy overnight when Gray arrives. We are kind of an awesome pair. I hope our dynamic doesn't change with the addition of a new teammate. I worry. 

Anyway, we miss you and love you and can't wait until you're home. Goodnight, love.  

Day 19

Two things...

And...

(The second thing is a baby's butt sticking out of my side).

Night. Love you. 

Day 18

Each day, this child teaches me something new. Today, it was how to fly, or rather, how it should feel to fly. Pretty sure it should feel like pure joy, by the look on his face. 

We went to the playground by the house for a while today. He really enjoyed it, but the thing that surprised me most, was that he wanted to swing. He's usually not into that, and it disappoints me because the swings were always my favorite. But today, he wanted to swing. And he laughed. And he threw his head back and grinned, and flew through the air like it was nothing. And he made me feel little again. I love it when he makes me feel young. It's my favorite. <3

Day 17

Frustration. 

I've been overly frustrated all day. Cale woke up cranky with a runny nose. He wouldn't take a nap. He was mean to the dogs. He wouldn't eat a bite for dinner. He screamed through our evening TV. He went to timeout. Several times. I yelled. 

Then he came stumbling up to me, in that precious way that he does, blankie and sippy in tow, and climbed into my lap. He curled up on my belly, drank his milk and asked me to sing. All that frustration melted away. God knew what he was doing when he put this little boy in our lives. He knew. He knew that I would need Cale while you were gone, and he knew that you would need Cale to make you smile when I can't. 

I love you. I love our little family. I love that you aren't afraid to sacrifice for our children. We miss you and we will talk to you tomorrow. Cranky butt and I are going to bed. ;)

Goodnight. 

Cuddles with Gray. :)

Day 16

Not really sure what to say today... 

I'm tired. 

I guess the pregnancy is finally starting to wear me down, because I've been tired for a week and can't seem to wake up feeling rested. I've even tried to convince the toddler to go back to sleep in the mornings (which actually worked once), but that didn't even make me feel better. 

I miss you getting up with him on the weekends and letting me sleep in for a little while. I just miss you. Period. I know you miss us, too. 

I got Gray a couple of little things today. Maybe if I dress him like a dinosaur, Cale will love him even more. Hahaha. 

Anyway. That's all I've got for tonight. Goodnight, love. We love you to the moon and back. Muah. 

Day 15

Cale and I met Lindsey and Kolby at Deanna Rose this morning. It was pretty cute. The boys saw all kinds of farm animals, Cale bottle fed a goat until another one decided it wanted to eat his shirt (it was hilarious) and he was over it, they fed the fish, played on the playground and then we all had a meltdown on the way to the car. Fun times. Kolby and Cale seemed to get along great, though, so we will have to get together again soon. 

That was our exciting day. Just ready to cross another day off the calendar and call it a night. Talk to you tomorrow, babe. Love you. Moon and back. Muah. 

Day 14. Two weeks gone.

Today was a fairly decent day. Grocery, nap, bath. Nothing out of the ordinary. Cale only went to time out once today, and I'm not hoarse, so that's a pretty good day for a toddler, in my opinion. He talked about you a lot today. I'm sure he will be beside himself when you come home for leave. 

I watched Big Brother and Bachelor in Paradise tonight. Austin won HOH and put Steve and Johnny Mac on the block. I think Vanessa might be more drama than Audrey was. 

I didn't watch Fear the Walking Dead tonight. I thought I'd save it for tomorrow evening when Cale is occupied and not paying attention to what I'm doing. I'm excited to see it, but I hate that you're missing it. :(

I gave up on SYTYCD. They sent my girl home last week, so whatever. 

Other than that, pretty uneventful day. I don't mind uneventful. 

We made it through another week... Two weeks down. Miss you like crazy, and I can't wait for you to call every night. :)

Talk to you tomorrow, my love. Muah. Night. 

Throwback to make you smile... Two years ago today. 

Day 13

Today was a better day...not really because yesterday was fixed, but because I tried not to think about it. 

I lost about 12" of hair, got some fresh color, monogrammed my diaper bag, and picked up everything in the backyard because we are supposed to get a storm tonight. Of course, the neighbors' trash can is still sitting on the storm drain, so if we get another flood, well, you know how that goes. 

Miss you. We are headed to bed, so we will talk to you tomorrow. Love you, soldier. Goodnight. Muah. 

Day 12

Today has been a crap day. There. I said it. I don't have much positivity in me today, and have spent most of it crying, but I have faith and I know that we will get through all of this, God willing. 

Without going into a lot of detail,I'm  disappointed that there are organizations set up to "help military families" but aren't really willing to help when needed. But that's ok, because family has always got our backs. Blessed. Even when everything feels like it's crumbling around you, there's family. 

I'm still crying as I'm typing this. And I've cried myself into a nose bleed now, so I think I'm just going to gather up the munchkin and call it a night. I don't have any more in me today. 

We love you. I know you know that. And we are fine. It will all work out, because God has never let us down before... I can't imagine he would start now. We got this. 

Muah. 

Day 11

The season finale of Alone was tonight... Our guy, Alan, won. It was down to him and the kid with the pregnant wife and the kid tapped out. We knew Alan would win from the beginning. Figured you'd be happy to hear that. 

They sent Becky home on Big Brother. Well, to jury, I guess. I'd say next week will be the comp to bring one of them back. 

I miss you. I mean, I miss having you here, but more than that, I miss really being able to talk to you. When you are used to being able to talk about anything and then 3/4 of your conversation has to be sensored, it makes it really difficult to feel like you've had an actual conversation. Everything feels superficial right now, and I know it has to be that way, but it kind of hurts my heart. I miss you. I miss the way we talk to each other. I don't even know if that makes sense. I just miss my best friend. It's day 11 and I already can't wait to get you home. 

Anyway, that's what's on my heart tonight. Another day down, a bunch more to go. I love you. Hope you have a great day tomorrow. Night baby. Muah. 

Day 10

Not really a ton to say because I talked to  you so much today (yay! I'll never complain about that!), so I'll just leave you a pic of the cutest kid ever. 

Or two...

And to be honest, this is what happens when you wake up at 1am to a text from Taylor reminding you that you're slacking and forgot to blog. ;)

But we really did talk a lot today, so I didn't quite know what to write, anyway. Love and miss you, Muah. 

Day 9

Oh, buddy... Almost in the double digits! Woohoo! Or as Cale says, "hooray!"

I need to figure out how to set that little hooray as a text tone on my phone. That would be awesome. I'll work on that. 

First care package is mailing tomorrow. It's mainly just boring stuff you need, but I'm excited for you to see the things Cale made for you. :)

I've been looking at Halloween costumes all day. It started with looking for costumes for him (I asked, he said he wants to be a dinosaur), and that was soon followed by looking for maternity costumes (I found three. 3. Total. That's ridiculous), so I'm not quite sure what do do about that yet. At least if I have to wear a tent, I can do fun make-up. Maybe a pregnant cave woman to take my dinosaur trick or treating. Lol

I've been singing the normal song to Cale at night, and added another in. He asks for them now, which is adorable, and makes me feel like Beyoncé. Ha. Whoa-oh-oh... Ahem. 

Anyway, this heartburn is creeping up on me again, so I'm gonna hit the tums and go to sleep before it comes back. I thought my midwife was going to fall out laughing when she asked me how bad it is and I told her that I wake up during dreams about tums or that there's a fire. A fire in my throat. When you dream that you are burning, that can't be good. 

Ok. I'll stop rambling. I love you to the moon and back. Talk to you tomorrow. Muah. Goodnight, my sweetheart. 

Day 8

Whoa. Almost missed one. One week in is too soon to go skipping blogs already! You'd think it was busy around here or something. Haha ;)

OB appointment today. I can't believe I'm starting my third trimester and already into these bi-weekly appointments! If everything goes as planned, we will meet our son on November 23. Yikes! So much to do! Honestly, though, if Cale didn't keep me busy, I know this pregnancy would feel like it was dragging on to no end, just like it did with him. But Yay for planning and feeling accomplished! Let's get this show on the road. 

I woke up having a terrible dream about 0430, and I'm, of course, still awake, and realized I forgot to blog. Fail. Sorry, babe. Deployment brain is bad, in itself, but when you add baby brain to that mix, I'm a whole jar of "what just happened and where am I" in a big-bellied package. Good thing you love me anyway. 

I will talk to you in a while, crocodile, or as Cale says, "take care, polar bear."

We love and miss you. Muah. XOXO

Day 7

BB breakdown:

So last week was double eviction week. Shelly ended up going home first, then Steve won HOH. He put up Meg and Jackie. I can't remember who won the veto, but the noms didn't change and Jackie went home. 

Liz won HOH this week. Meg and Becky may have convinced her not to trust Vanessa. And they are right. She has her hand in almost every pot. Steve has joined in with Liz, Vanessa, Julia and Austin to form some strange alliance. And Liz put up Becky and Johnny Mac. 

The bachelors in paradise are still crazy. I don't know where to begin with that train wreck. 

I know that you've seen Cale's video by now. Don't worry. He's not always sad. Typically, he's the same ball of energy he always was, but I guess he was just having a hard morning. I cried with him. I just thought it was a very sweet and genuine moment, and I'm glad I caught it on video. 

He sat on the potty a few times today, but still no results. He's doing better though, no longer flat out refusing to try. I'll take it. It would be nice to have him out of diapers before we have another one in them. But he will train when he's ready. I'm not trying to rush him. 

This morning he woke up, looked at me and said, "my name is Cale Forntin." I had to laugh. All I could think was, "well, thank goodness we cleared that up. I'd have been freaked out if you were someone else!" Then later he was playing with his phone and said he was talking to Gaga, walking around with it to his ear and telling you his name. Sometimes I think talking to a toddler is similar to talking to a very drunk person. It's all kind of jumbled and a word salad, but if you can get the gist, you're doing ok. I usually get the gist. 

Tomorrow starts week 2! We've made it an entire week! Happy Dance, spirit fingers, moving on. Let's keep rolling. We are kicking butt and taking names, and I know it's hard on you, but we love you and are so proud of you. You are our hero, and we will always be right here, cheering you on. Wouldn't want to ride this roller coaster without you. 

Love you to the moon and back, soldier. Goodnight. Muah. 

Day 6

1300: We have had a busy morning that involved a lot or running back and forth to the potty. He sat on it a few times, and even tried out the big potty, but no luck yet. It's only a matter of time, though. I can feel it. Apparently all that running to the bathroom will tucker a person out, because he's passed out on the couch, and I'm taking full advantage of naptime by taking a bath. 

2100: He sat on the potty a few more times today, in addition to singing the alphabet song and the "1, 2, buckle my shoe" nursery rhyme (I know Aunt Donna is so proud), then he harassed the dogs until bedtime. Poor puppies. They're so good about it. 

I love that we can video chat most nights, even if it's only for a few minutes. Seeing your face makes it easier on us, and I'm sure it makes the distance easier on you, too. We have a little routine before bed now. Each night, before we go upstairs, we cross a day off the calendar and give each other a high five because we survived another day. It's pretty cute. You'd be proud. 

We love you and miss you so much. Almost one week down. Only another 38, give or take, to go! Lol

Talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight, my love. Muah. 

Day 5

I'm laying in bed writing this, so it will likely be short. I'm exhausted. 

We had a great day today. I tried something new on the embroidery machine and it turned out adorable, and we went to dinner at Erin's. It was so great to see her. Cale had a blast until that 30 minute nap started to catch up with him, and we had to come home due to a meltdown. It happens. He fell asleep singing tonight, and we have started looking up to the moon before bed and telling you goodnight and that we love you. Maybe it adds normalcy for him. Whatever makes him remember that you're missing him, too...

Planning on getting some work done this weekend if my orders arrive. It will be cathartic to get back into it, even if it's only during naps, but he's playing by himself more, so that helps. 

I'll talk to you tomorrow, my love. I hope things are going as well as can be expected there... Even though I know you wouldn't tell me if you were miserable. It's just what we do, right?

We love you to the moon and back. Always. Muah. 

Day 4

I'm sitting here staring at Taya Kyle's book, and it's staring back. I'm not exactly sure why that happens to be the one to jump out at me each time I look at the bookshelf. It doesn't have a flashy spine; kind of plain, actually, but that's the one that seems to always catch my eye. I don't think I can read it right now, but maybe someone is trying to tell me that I should. Who am I kidding? Reading is a luxury afforded to those who have survived the toddler years. If it's not about dinosaurs or gorillas going to bed, I probably don't have time to read it. (I picked it up and started crying during the intro. Nope. It will have to wait until I'm not pregnant and you're not deployed)

I made a deployment calendar for Cale today, so we can mark off a box every night before bed. I'm hoping it will help him understand more about when you will be home, but right now, it just looks like a lot of boxes. A LOT of boxes. 

And yes, I'm aware that he looks like Brock in this photo. 

We also did an art project for you today that was less than spectacular. Cale wanted to paint, so I got the paint out. He got it on his finger and had a meltdown. He cried when I cleaned it off his finger. He lost his mind when I put the paint away. Then he cried because he wanted tea. I gave him tea. He cried because he didn't want tea, he wanted juice. Gah! His twos were showing and I was losing my patience. He's calmed down now, thankfully, but I need a nap. 

So here I am, at the end of a day that I thought I might finish bald, and this little boy climbs up in my lap and tells me he loves me, then turns around and kisses my belly and says "wuu you wiw brofer" (you can't make this stuff up). We got to video chat with you and show you everything we did today, I read an entirely true list about deployment on Pinterest, and Big Brother is starting in 30 mins. And after all of that I realized that we are totally kicking this deployment's ass. Yes, I know it's only day 4, but whatever. I'm turning into a deployment ninja. We got this. 

I love you, Island Boy. Talk to you tomorrow... Goodnight, my love. 

Day 3

I got to see this handsome boy today...

And this one...

It's been a good day. :)

Ok. BB breakdown: (spoiler alert)

Becky won HOH, hands down. She put up Shelly and Steve, with the hopes of backdooring Vanessa, and (of course, because these people have no game play) told Shelly the plan. 

They picked veto players and Shelly got houseguest choice and picked Vanessa... Much to the dismay of Becky and Johnny Mac. Regardless, it was the comic book zip-line challenge and Steve won, so Vanessa is on the block with Shelly, and as far as I can see, on her way to the jury house. 

I'll catch up on the Bachelor in Paradise crazies tomorrow. 

Other than the Ultrasound and talking to you, not a lot going on here. Mom and Dad made it home safe and everyone sends their love. Brock's interview was on the news tonight. I posted the link on your Facebook page. 

This Cloud Pet is a huge hit. Cale loves being able to hear your voice whenever he wants. Better start getting creative, because it looks like you have about 270 of these messages to leave for him. 

He was soooo happy to Tango with you tonight. He hasn't stopped talking about seeing you. It does my heart good to see him light up when he talks to you. He's handling this like a champ, babe. He's a tough little guy... Just like Ironman. 

We love you and can't wait to talk to you tomorrow. Take care of yourself and dream about us, because we will be dreaming about you. 

XOXO, your biggest fans,

Mommy and Cale

Day 2: the hangover

There's always a post-departure hangover for me. It's one of those days when it feels impossible to adult. We usually have cereal for three meals and watch movies all day. This morning, though, Cale is sitting on the couch with Nana and Poppy, and they are looking at pictures of fish on Poppy's iPad, I'm drinking coffee and eating donuts, and Gray is doing push-ups, getting ready for his first PT test. I don't have time to not adult. 

Got the oil changed in the car, mom and dad washed it and we are putting it in the garage. At least I can check that off my list. And I finally got my summer door hanger on the back door... So yeah. Productive day. Hahaha. 

I exchanged the movie that didn't work. It has an iTunes copy, so I'll see if I can put that on the cloud for you to download when you get wifi. Maybe we can watch a few movies together like that while you are gone. In other news, Mom and I are excited that Efron is going to be in the new Baywatch movie. ;) I'll try to get all the chick flicks out of my system before you come home. 

The Big A reveal was tonight on Pretty Little Liars. Stop rolling your eyes. My theory was actually somewhat correct. I'm proud of myself. Stop rolling your eyes!

Ultrasound tomorrow. Taylor is coming to babysit. I'll post pics. 

I'll try to catch up on all our shows tomorrow night so I can update you. 

Moon and back, my love. Goodnight. 

Day 1: Departure

Dropping you off today was different. I still have a hole in my heart, but at least it's not filled with the dread of never again touching your face. I know you will come home from this one; a certainty I never had in deployments past. 

I miss you already. I missed you as soon as you walked away, and I'm a mess without you, but we figured that out two deployments ago. Ha. 

We will survive this. It takes a special kind of strength to do what we do. Our children will inherit that strength. 

Destination: deployment #4

I can't believe we are back here again. It seems like yesterday that I was watching you pack to head to Afghanistan the first time, and the second, and now this. I can't help but be emotional, I mean, I'm almost 6 months pregnant. Emotion is all I do right now. 

When you asked me last night if I was going to blog this one, I didn't know what to say because I hadn't thought about it, but I guess I owe it to the boys so they can look back on this and see what an emotional basket case Mommy really was through this one. Tighten your seatbelts, boys, this could be a crazy ride... 

Right now, you are mowing the back yard, Cale is asleep on my arm and Gray is having a dance party in my belly. I think Gray will be the wild child. I can't remember Cale ever being this active. I still need to figure out how to ease this transition for Cale. He's so attached to you right now, that no part of this will be easy for any of us. I guess I'll just keep a freezer full of Popsicles, and pray they help.