A few photos...

Day 133

You're home. Home.

So very blessed.

Day 132

I'm going to bed... On my last night without you for quite some time. I'm going to try to sleep, although I'm sure it will be restless. I hope you are sleeping on the plane, I know it's a long flight.

I will see your handsome face tomorrow, and I'm not sure there is a word in my vocabulary that can encompass the emotion I'm feeling. I love you to the moon and back... And tomorrow night, before we fall asleep, I will be able to kiss you goodnight for the first time in over four months... And I'm beside myself with happiness. It's the little things.

I love you. I miss you. Goodnight. Muah.

Day 131

Hi.

I had my hair done today, and my nails, so I can check that off my list. :)

I shoveled some more of the back yard today, too, but it's still pretty yucky. I know we will finish that up when you get home.

I have my first Physical Therapy appointment, off post, on Wednesday morning. I was approved for 20 visits, so we will see how it goes.

Just a few small things left to do before you get here, and I'm so excited that I can't sit still. I love you. Gonna try and get some rest. Muah. Goodnight.

Day 130

I'm exhausted. I've been running at an emotional level of about an 8, all day long, and I'm crashing. You know I'm tired if I'm in bed at 10pm.

I'm fine though, baby, I swear. I know you worry, but I'm just excited. It's good for me to crash right now, otherwise, I won't sleep at all.

I love you. I can't wait to be back in your arms. Very soon. Be careful. Goodnight.

Day 129

I know that you probably won't be able to read this until you get home. I also know that I could stay up all night waiting to hear from you, but I probably won't receive that phone call.

I'm not complaining. I know you're busy readying yourself to come home. I'll never complain about that. Ever.

So I'm going to watch a movie in bed, wishing you were with me. I know you will be here soon. I love you to the moon and back. Be safe. I miss you. Goodnight, soldier.

Day 128

I was able to hear your voice tonight for the first time in well over a week. Although I know you're tired, you sounded so happy to be off the FOB and making movements toward home. I love hearing that smile in your voice, and I cannot wait to see the one on your face when you find me in a few days.

We always say that people don't understand deployment separation unless they've lived it... The fear, the worry, the loneliness can be unbearable. I believe though, that unless you've lived through everything I just listed, you cannot fully understand the joy and anticipation of the homecoming. Missing someone you haven't seen in a while just isn't the same thing... This is an entirely different ball game.

Tomorrow I will finish my list, just in case you happen to make it home early... I want to be fully prepared... None of this last minute rushing around stuff. I'm an Army Wife... Hurry up and wait is my motto. ;)

I love you. I love you. I love you. I can never tell you that enough. Be safe. Godspeed. Goodnight.

Day 127/Week 19

OMGoodness, I miss you so much! James and Kristin came over for dinner tonight, and it's great having him back, but weird that you aren't here, too. I know it won't be much longer, though.

Happy two year Anniversary! I love you more every single day.

Be safe today. I'll meet you in my dreams. Goodnight, soldier.

Day 126

At around 10pm on April 14, 1912, the RMS Titanic struck an iceberg. It sank approximately two miles to its grave at the bottom of the Atlantic, during the early hours of April 15, claiming over 1500 lives.

I can remember being fascinated with the initial images from National Geographic, some 27 years ago. I was just a child, and knew nothing about the disaster, but it captivated me. I knew it was something important.

As I grew, I began to learn about some of the stories of Titanic's passengers. The story that has always touched my heart the most was of the Straus'.

Mr. Isidor Straus and his wife, Ida, were an older couple traveling to New York from Southhampton. He was 67, she was 63. Mr. Straus was the son of Lazarus Straus (yes, as in Levi's), and in his adulthood, became the owner of Macy's.

During the panic on the deck of the Titanic, the Straus' attempted to board lifeboat number 8. Ida got into the boat, but Isidor was denied. When she discovered that her husband could not join her, Ida got out of the boat and said to her husband, "Where you go, I go." They walked to a pair of deck chairs and waited, together, to be claimed by the sea. His body was recovered, hers never was.

Their lives may have ended a century ago, but their story lives on. This was a real love story. Real people. Real lives lost.

I can understand why she climbed out of that lifeboat. To her, the thought of living without him was worse than death. She made her choice. Some people would say she was courageous, but I'd be willing to bet that she wouldn't think she was brave. She simply chose to do what was right; what was natural to her. She chose to stand by her husband's side until the end, just as she'd promised him she would.


I love you. I miss you. Please be safe, my love, and remember, wherever you go, I am with you. Goodnight.

Day 125

My belly hurts tonight. Blah.

I'm so proud of you for putting on the big squishy suit today and letting the dog attack you. I know you're not the biggest fan of dogs you don't know, so I think it's awesome that you faced that fear.

I'm going to bed...but tonight is the 100th anniversary of Titanic hitting that infamous iceberg that led to the deaths of so many. Tomorrow I will tell you more about why it means so much to me.

I love you. Be safe and smart. Not much longer now.... You will be home before the milk I bought today expires. :) Goodnight!

Day 124

Spent pretty much the entire day chipping at ice in front of the house. I had to dig a trench from the gutter to the middle of the driveway, then from the middle of the driveway to the road, then from the front door to meet the rest of the trenches. Much more difficult than it sounds, I assure you.

I love you, soldier. We're getting close now! Muah. Goodnight.

Day 123/Month 5

Today marked the beginning of our 5th month of deployment. Four months gone. There are times when it feels like its been so much longer.

I miss every little thing about having you here, now. I've had several people tell me that it feels like it has gone by quickly...it certainly doesn't feel like that from where I'm standing. I miss holding your hand and feeling your wedding band on your finger. I miss the little smirk you get when you think you're right about something, and how you pout all dramatically when you figure out that you aren't so right after all. I miss how you act all irritated when I don't finish my soda and you find a half full can (I've done that my entire life, so you may as well get used to it).

I miss singing the wiggle in my toes song from your Kindergarten PTO program. I miss having someone to talk to about the mundane parts of my day, and finding humor in them with you. We laugh so easily together. I miss you taking the trash out. I hate taking out the trash. Hate. It.

I miss your hugs. Sometimes I can't remember what a hug feels like....

I love you. Goodnight, soldier. Be safe.

Day 122

I'm so tired.

My knees hurt, my neck hurts, and I didn't get to talk to you today, so I'm bummed.

I miss you so much, baby. I love you with all my heart. Goodnight.

Day 121

I've spent most of the day trying not to feel sorry for myself. Typically, when I go to the doctor for something sports/injury related they tell me I'm fine. Ice. Elevate. Blah, blah, blah. Today's news wasn't as pleasant as I was hoping, and the possibility that I may have seriously injured my "good" knee this time has had me a bit down. I'm not very good at sitting still, so laying on the couch today, with a million things to do before you get home, has made me a little nuts, especially with you not here to keep me company.

The good news is, I should start physical therapy next week. Let's pray that it works. I'd rather not have to have meniscus surgery...even if it would give us matching knees. ;)

I love that your time there is winding down. I know we have both received a lot of messages and emails full of support and kind words. I was very grateful for the message that we both received this evening from a friend that we've both known for many years. Her sweet words couldn't have come at a better time for me, and I know they touched you as well. She made me cry... In a good way, and I know she will be reading this, along with several others, so I would like to thank each of them for their kindness, love and support. Our friends, family, teachers, extended families.... You have not gone unappreciated. You have all done your part in making this deployment a little easier for both of us to bear. Thank you, from both of us.

I started this blog for our friends... And when you deployed, I began writing for you daily, not expecting anyone else to read it. It still blows my mind that we have so many who care enough to read about my struggles here. It makes my days a little brighter, and sometimes I don't feel as lonely as I could. And I know how much you look forward to them, too, babe. It keeps me going.

Maybe I can turn this crazy life of ours into a book one day, huh?

I love you more than words can ever say. You are the glue that holds me together and I think that without you, I would simply cease to exist. Even from 6,000 miles away, you are my whole life. Be safe, soldier. Be smart. Keep your gun clean, and get your butt home. ASAP. And that's an order, Sergeant. I love you. Goodnight.

Day 120/Week 18

So I'm laying here in bed, and my knees hurt. :( This can't be good. Hopefully they will feel better in the morning, because I don't want anything to hold me back anymore. I'm finally on the right path for being healthy and I don't want my stupid knees to get in my way. Getting old sucks.

I'm so glad you'll be home soon. I miss you more than I can ever describe. I love you with all my heart. Goodnight, soldier.

Day 119

Happy Easter, baby.

Today was a pretty good day. Jenn and Myranda came over for a while. I did laundry and dishes, then watched my Sunday night shows.

I know my blogs have been short lately, I'm just so anxious for you to come home. I miss you so much, and it's hard to watch all these flights come in and know that you aren't on them yet, but I know we don't have much longer. I'm trying to be patient, but we both know that it's not a strong point for me. ;)

I love you with all my heart. The puppies say hi. They said to tell you that it's getting warm outside and they are ready for you to take them to the park. They love you, Daddy.

We will talk to you tomorrow. Meet you in my dreams. Goodnight.

Day 118

I said I'd write more today, but I just can't do it. I'm exhausted. I love you. Happy Easter. Can't wait for our turn... Goodnight.

Day 117

It's gonna be a super long night. Flight comes in at 5am. Not sure how much more I can say, but you know who is on it. I'm gonna go sit with his wife in about an hour. I'll post more details tomorrow, and I'll tell you all about it in the morning.

I love you so much. Our time is coming soon. Be safe. Goodnight.

Day 116

Ahhhh! You'll be home soon enough that I'm starting to freak out!!! Not a lot left to do now, but I seriously need to tan, like, every single day.

The running is going pretty well. I'm happy with my motivation level, and hopefully I won't look like a duck out of water when you get home. I'm just not very graceful.

Hopefully I won't wake up freezing tonight... Shelby stole the covers last night. :|

I'm heading to bed. I love you with all my heart and I can't wait for you to get here. :D

Be safe, baby. Goodnight.

Day 115

So run #2 went well today... Better than I anticipated, actually. I increased my distance and pace, and I didn't puke my guts up afterward, so I'll count that as a win. :) I'm not breaking any records, but at least it feels good to be out and moving. There's a trail through the woods in the middle of the subdivision that is really beautiful... I think you'll like it.

I miss you. Sometimes, like when I wake up in the middle of the night, I forget for a second that you aren't here. I woke up the other morning and could have sworn that you were awake and getting ready for PT. You were talking to me, telling me that you loved me and you'd be back soon. By the time I realized that you weren't really here, I was so upset that I just got out of bed. The times like those, when my brain tricks my heart into thinking you are here, are the hardest.

I know it's not much longer now... Just another couple weeks, but it's still not easy. Be careful. I love you to the moon and back again. Goodnight.

Day 114

Public Service Announcement: Ladies, please do not drag your husbands to see Titanic in 3D. It's just like the old one. Same plot, he still dies at the end. Same iceberg. Same implausible stretch of a love story. If you want to go with your girlfriends, have at it... But don't make him suffer... Thank you.

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, I did my first run today. It wasn't easy, but I pushed through it and managed not to puke until I made it back to the house. :) I'll be taking Shelby with me starting tomorrow. She's fat and needs the exercise, and I may need her to haul me out of the woods after I've collapsed. Win, win.

Ok. Going to bed. See you later this month, baby! I can't wait!!! :) I love you! Goodnight.

Day 113

It feels like now that we are nearing the end of this deployment, every day is an emotional jungle-gym. I'm worn out.

The Cats won today... Eighth NCAA basketball championship. That, in itself, is impressive, but the way those boys play is just amazing. They deserved this title.

I'm going to start running tomorrow, short distances at first. I'm getting so bored working out, so I'm hoping this helps me stay motivated.

Goodnight, baby. It won't be long now. :)

Day 112

I can't post what I'm feeling tonight... It's too private, too personal. I think you understand.

I miss you more than I'll ever be able to explain. I need you.

Soon. You'll be home soon.

I love you, soldier. Goodnight.

Day 111

I miss you.

Today was a long day. Jenn and I managed to get a lot accomplished today, in addition to seeing The Hunger Games, which wasn't nearly as great as the book but still good.

Going to sleep. I love you with all my heart. Be safe. Goodnight. Muah.