Day 33

When I turned on the tv after working 3rd shift 14 years ago, I had no idea how that morning would set the course for the rest of my life. I didn't know I'd marry a soldier nine years later, and I certainly didn't know that we would spend close to three years of our first six years of marriage apart. I would never have dreamed that we would have a two year old who tells the moon goodnight because that's where he thinks you live. I couldn't have imagined preparing to have a child while my husband was in another country. And yet, here we are. And I wouldn't change a thing. 

I re-watched the footage from the Today show of that morning. It was no less terrifying today than it was then. I know that you have seen some maddening things, and most of those I will never know to the full extent because you insist on protecting me from those nightmares. You know I have broad shoulders, but I'm not sure anyone should have to relive those images, so I don't ask. 

It's enough to see the footage of the refugees on tv, with their blank stares, only imagining what they've seen. I know you tried to prevent that. I'm sorry that we can't help them more, and a very guilty part of me is incredibly thankful that we have not had to fight this war on our soil; at least not directly. I'm thankful for those of you who stood and answered the call, and for those who never returned home to their families. 

I'm proud of you. I'm so proud to call you my soldier, my husband, my hero. Cale is proud of you and although he doesn't understand the meaning of the word, he shows his pride daily when he points you out in photos. If he could really talk, he would tell the entire world about his Gaga... Just like he tells the moon. We love you. 

Goodnight.