Day 1

There is a line from Miss Saigon that's been stuck in my head all day today. They sing "Our lives will change when tomorrow comes..."

Of course, that's not the best choice of musicals for my brain to have on repeat right now, but hey, when has "the right" song ever been the one you can't seem to shake?

I guess the reason that line is staying with me is pretty self-explanatory...all day long it got more and more real for me...like, sending-my-husband-off-to-war-in-a-few-hours real, and that, for lack of a better word, sucked. I tried all day to not sit here and sob uncontrollably. I managed to hold it together pretty well, although I did have a major meltdown on the sidewalk outside that damn airport that I'm growing to hate...thank goodness Jo was there to catch me before I lost it completely. Hardest thing I've ever done...walking away from you tonight.

I've laid down in bed now, after fighting with the dogs for my side, and I doubt I'll sleep much. My eyes are puffy and burning, and my pillow is soaked...we are probably going to need new ones when you get home. I thought about fighting with the dogs again so I could sleep on your side, but I just don't think I have the energy tonight.

I know that being a soldier isn't just your job...it's who you are. I know we will both be fine. I know we will be stronger together after this is over. I know that I'm proud of you, and I know that I love you more than anything. Our lives have changed because of this day, but our life together will only get better from here. Fortunately, God is a planner (like me), and nothing that happens will change his plan for us. God doesn't need a Plan B to account for what the military might throw at us next, and that's just another reason for me to be thankful.

Remember that I'm always right beside you, and if you put your hands together in front of your chest, that's how much I love you (because you have to go from one hand, allllllll the way around your back to the other). :)

All my love, Baby. Goodnight.